Writing on- Adieu Anamamma.

This year has been a rollercoaster. It started with the heartbreaking loss of my dog, and now few days back, I lost my friend Anam. She wasn’t just any friend – Anam was India’s first female stuntwoman! We rode together through the treacherous curves of Leh and Ladakh, conquering the Khardung-La pass with her guidance. The Himalayas Highs just won’t feel the same without her.

We hoard memories like precious souvenirs – some from loved ones who are still with us, others from those who’ve passed on. But where do they all go? Does our brain have a dusty attic where these memories pile up? It’s puzzling how these experiences can stay tucked away for years, sometimes even controlling how we categorize new ones. I feel our memories have boundaries, shaping who we are.

Maybe boundaries are important, even for memories. The bad stuff sticks, and new stuff piles on, but somehow I’m still here, carrying the good and the bad, on both sides of the river, just like before.

All this loss is a puzzle I’m trying to piece together. It’s hard to wrap my head around it all. Life flows like a river, with people constantly entering and leaving the stream. Some leave behind stones of good memories, while others leave sharp rocks of pain. But the river keeps flowing, and we have to keep paddling – that’s the nature of it all.

Anam, wherever you are, I hope you’ve found the peace you deserve. This world just wasn’t ready for someone as amazing as you.

Megh/jellyfish/babyyaga.

*FEELINGS ARE PERSONAL*

Writing on- Love a little.

Do you remember the time when love used to bloom slowly? We would exchange timid glances across a crowded room and maybe wave at each other shyly. Our hearts would race with excitement every time the phone rang, hoping it would be them. We would spend hours waiting by the window, with a fluttering stomach, every time a car passed by, just to catch a glimpse of their smile.

Technology has undoubtedly changed the way we fall in love. Love connections are now made with a simple swipe, and conversations flow in real time. Whether we consider this change a blessing or a curse, one thing is for sure – the way we approach love has transformed.

Relationships often begin with “yeses.” Everything seems perfect, and saying no is a rare occurrence. But as comfort and individuality grow, so does the need to express boundaries. At first, hearing “no” might feel like a rejection. However, with maturity, we come to understand that “no” can be a powerful tool for communication and growth. In fact, sometimes “no” teaches us more about ourselves and our partners than any “yes” ever could.

Love and relationships require daily effort. There will be days when you may not feel like putting in the effort, but that’s what makes love stronger. However, true love also values individual happiness. While you must show up for your partner even when it’s inconvenient, they should also be there for you. Prioritizing individual fulfillment within the relationship results in happiness for both partners.

We have seen our parents make many compromises, leading to resentment.

You think he belongs to you because you want to belong to him. Don’t. It’s a bad word, ‘belong.’ Especially when you put it with somebody you love. Love shouldn’t be like that. Did you ever see the way the clouds love a mountain? They circle all around it; sometimes you can’t even see the mountain for the clouds. But you know what? You go up top and what do you see?

Toni Morrison.

Love is a paradox, a dance on a bed of roses. It’s the exciting freedom of shedding your masks, and the exposure of being utterly seen. There’s terror in letting someone know the messy, unedited you, yet a stunning beauty in their acceptance. It’s a rhythm of flaws blending into a song only your heart can understand. And like meditation, true love requires practice. It’s a lifelong journey of stripping away masks, revealing your authentic self, layer by precious layer.

Love and Let love, and love sometimes is losing as well. And it’s all okay.

megh/jellyfish/babyyaga

Writing on- void and matrix,

A hollow ache, a black hole at my core, has been my constant companion for as long as I can remember. The origin of this void remains a mystery, a question I’ve grappled with for years without answers. Lately, it’s become more than just a presence – it’s a pressing need. I yearn to understand its existence, to unravel the “why” behind this emptiness.

This emptiness feels endless, a bottomless pit that’s been with me forever. No matter what I throw in – hobbies, achievements, even people – it never seems to get any fuller. It’s like a constant companion, one I have no control over. I used to wonder if everyone had this void, maybe buried deep and ignored. Maybe that’s why people chase things – new things, achievements, relationships. A desperate attempt to fill the emptiness or just forget it’s there.
I’ve read countless books, watched endless movies, and tried every drink, yet I still feel empty. It’s not just a hollow feeling that can be filled with something material. It’s more of an ethereal presence. Perhaps it’s the echoes of my ancestors or maybe it’s a quirk in our human nature that makes us restless and always searching for more. Or perhaps it’s a program or glitch intentionally left by the creators to control our thoughts.

Picture this: You are a puppet, and someone else is in control of your every move. It’s as if they are pulling strings, and you have no free will. But what if one day, you become aware of these strings? What if you can see the puppet master manipulating you? Would this newfound awareness break their control?

Does simply recognizing this control set us free?

The question of choice persists whether we are actually in control or not. We strive to control the situations we find ourselves in, holding onto the belief that it will keep us safe. Maybe this is a necessary belief to prevent us from giving up.

Well whatsoever it is, I am with the void. Or the void is with me no matter what.

megh/jelly/baby.

Writing on- Life and wait.

For days, I can’t seem to stop thinking about loss. It keeps replaying in my head, even though I try to think logically and see the bigger picture. I come home expecting his usual excited greeting, the jumping, and the licks, but there’s nothing. It took me a while to realize he was not here anymore. Every time I hear a bell I wait for his bark, but it’s just silence. It’s a constant reminder that his happy presence is gone.

Dealing with the absence of a pet friend or friend is harder than one might think. It’s like an endurance test to get used to the void they left behind. Even though my pet is no longer here, my body still remembers their presence. As I move through the house, I catch myself looking at their usual spots, half-expecting to see them there. To those who have never experienced the love and companionship of a dog or cat, this may seem strange, but the bond is indescribable.

To love and lose is to carve an inexplicable void within your soul. It’s a hollowness beyond remedy, one that compels you to build a chamber of emptiness within yourself. Each loss becomes a new object placed within this room, a silent collection of what once brought you joy.

Over time, a deceptive layer of forgetfulness settles, masking the pain beneath. But then, one day, a door creaks open in that forgotten chamber. All the collected voids come crashing in, a tidal wave of absence washing over you. You’re left adrift in an ocean of emptiness, neither sad nor happy, just waiting.

Life is a wild ride with no guarantees. We’re constantly in a state of flux, not just living and reacting, but also waiting. We wait to grow up, to learn new things, and eventually, for life to end. Every pause, every delay, is a chance for something amazing to happen, or for things to take a turn we didn’t expect. It is all a part of this existence.

Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living and above all, those who live without love.

J. K Rowling, Harry Potter.

megh/jellyfish/babyyaga.

Writing on- Modern Love.

“You don’t lose yourself in love; love is all about finding yourself.”

megha chakraborty.

The more we invest our hearts in someone, the stronger the opposition appears, averting love from completely absorbing us. What happens when the person we love suddenly becomes cruel and lashes out at us? This question causes a change in perspective, leading to a choice to put ourselves first and follow our true joys, and aspirations.

That’s the real meaning of life because love can be essentially self-serving, even in its most profound forms.

Even the biggest gesture can be bent to suit the needs of another, as we frequently do when pouring our emotions into another person under the false impression of selflessness. Even though it may be painful, this realization frees us from the bonds of expectation, enabling us to accept the sincerity of our own aspirations and create a life around us.

We frequently give until we have nothing left in our desire to be loved. But self-annihilation shouldn’t be necessary for true love. Prioritizing our own well-being, learning to say “no,” and establishing healthy boundaries are not signs of selfishness; they are important for any relationship to last.

The movies, paint love in vibrant hues of passion, a whirlwind of stolen glances, grand gestures, and tearful reunions. It’s a condensed reality, a two-hour escape where “happily ever after” flashes on the screen as the credits roll. Yet, like a faded poster forgotten in the attic, this cinematic love rarely endures the harsh lighting of life’s mundane realities.

Love that lasts beyond public recognition and showy displays. It thrives in the daily struggles of life, fueled by late-night talks about misplaced socks and leaky faucets, as well as shared duties and grocery lists. It involves laughing and fighting through unpleasant dinners and spilled coffee, and navigating through family conflicts and financial hardships.

The idea of a “happily ever after” is not something that is made up. It is a decision that we make every day to love each other even when things get tough. It means waking up beside someone and feeling like you’re a team, knowing that you can tackle any challenges that come your way together.

True love is not always about grand gestures or dramatic declarations. It is silence, unspoken language of respect, like knowing your partner’s favorite mug or making their coffee just the way they like it. It is the understanding that some days the passion might fade, replaced by the hum of routine, but the foundation remains solid.

Love is in the everyday moments, woven with happiness, sorrow and silly fights and the courage of simple acts of forgetting and remembering.

Megha.

May you all be well.

megh/jellyfish/babyyaga.

*OPINIONS ARE PERSONAL*

PHOTO BY- @meghabr, clicked at Darjeeling.

Writing on- Time=Money or Time>Money?

A businessman wearing an expensive watch illustrates the fallacy of believing that he controls time. He flaunts his wealth as a symbol of control over precious moments. As they say, he who controls time controls money.
On the other hand, a thief’s impoverished past leads them to believe that acquiring stolen wealth can provide them with a sense of satisfaction that can overcome the burden of time. However, the temporary relief that they experience through illegitimate means is short-lived.

Just like the watch of an investor, riches obtained through illicit means transform into glittering cages of buying possessions and selling souls. Time remains indifferent to our finances, ticking steadily regardless of the watch on our wrist or the zeros and thousands in our bank account. Time doesn’t differentiate.

Our desperate clinging to the past reflects another aspect of this struggle. We constantly hoard memories, photographs, artifacts, cars, clothes, and houses, building webs of nostalgia in an attempt to anchor ourselves in time. “What would we be without our possessions?”

We are so scared to be bare that we latch ourselves to things because dealing with feelings is hard.

However, the past is a ghost, a face changer. By fixating on what has been, we risk missing the richness of the present and the gifts of the future.

But what solace do we find amidst this dance of scarcity and impermanence?

When every thought is about how to increase your wealth, every penny counts. But time is also money, and waiting for money can be a waste of time. Sometimes it feels like I should have just bought an expensive watch to keep track of my money. However, even if I have all the money in the world, time will always be limited and never enough.

We can purchase gadgets and experiences, but true presence, the ability to fully inhabit the present moment, cannot be bought. Time is not something to be hoarded or traded. It simply exists, and to be with time, you must be present in the moment, not in the past or future.

‘True fortune shines not in money, but in moments. Busy hands may grasp the world, but it’s the attentive soul that truly holds riches.”

Cheers to time.

megh/jellyfish/babyyaga

*FEELINGS ARE PERSONAL*

Writing on- sunset and nightmare.

There are two worlds in my head: one where everything goes according to plan, and the other where all the worst-case scenarios and dangerous events occur.

It’s like a theatre with two flickering screens. On one, a sunlit comedy plays, pastel hues of routine waltzing across the stage. Coffee steams, emails ping, life’s predictable melody hums like a lullaby. But in the corner lurks a projector, casting an ominous second feature. What if lines fumbled, mugs shattered, emails screamed accusations? In this twisted drama, laughter morphs into gasps, and every familiar step leads to a cliff’s edge.

I picture a fatal crash down to the last detail the moment I get into a car and we go. When the cashier tells me the total, I imagine a robbery in the store. Every flight is an eight-hour mental movie in which I prepare my response to the stranger sitting to my right if the pilot declares the aircraft to be about to crash. Death in the family. The earth abruptly dropped because gravity abandoned the celebration. It is tiring. Even though none of these things ever happen, I’m always ready in my mind

These two worlds, woven from the same threads of your imagination, wage a silent war within your mind. One whispers reassurances and the other screams warnings. One paints sunsets the other sketches nightmares.

But perhaps, it is within this very tension that you find your strength, your resilience, your capacity to dance with both sunshine and shadows. For in your mind, both worlds find their purpose, weaving the intricate narrative of your existence. 

Remember, the theater of the mind is vast, capable of staging infinite performances. Choose the script that empowers you, not the one that binds, and in the end, you will find that even the stormiest play eventually gives way to a breathtaking sunrise.

Help is always around the corner.

May you all be well.

*FEELINGS ARE PERSONAL*

megh/jellyfish/babyyaga.

Featured Image by: https://society6.com/product/scream-scary-movie_print

NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT INTENDED.

Writing on- Cant pour from empty mug!!

It’s intriguing how individuals with high empathy often feel responsible for holding space for other people’s jealousies and resentments. This practice is deeply ingrained in Bengali culture, where it’s considered good manners to refrain from speaking about one’s grades or accomplishments in public so as not to make other children feel inferior.

The primary objective of this practice was to instill humility in children, but unfortunately, many people from diverse backgrounds failed to comply with it. Over time, kind and compassionate individuals may take it too far. Without being taught about the harmful aspects of the world, they may end up hurting themselves while trying to protect those who don’t deserve it, or be taken advantage of by people who don’t appreciate or return their compassion.

So modesty: yes. But boundaries: a double aye!

So, while humility is essential, it’s equally important to set boundaries. Never let anyone dim your shine just because they feel threatened by it. If someone is genuinely good for you, they will appreciate and celebrate your light instead of trying to extinguish it. It’s important to be humble, but never forget to stand up for yourself.

It’s easy to confuse people-pleasing with earning respect, but it’s a fine line worth mastering. And most importantly, don’t forgive those who don’t deserve it. Don’t hold a grudge, but also don’t let them back into your life. It’s okay not to forgive pettiness and jealousy in those you’ve genuinely loved, and you don’t have to make that mistake again.

I want to remind you of something really important – taking care of yourself! You deserve to feel happy and fulfilled in life, and that starts with prioritizing self-care. Don’t forget to set healthy boundaries and be kind to yourself along the way.

After all, you can’t pour from an empty cup!

babyyaga/jellyfish/megh

*FEELINGS ARE PERSONAL*

Writing on- politics of happiness- 2024.

So, it’s 2024 we made it! After the disaster that was 2023, this year couldn’t come soon enough.

As I set out for my morning run today, I came across several remnants of the fireworks that were set off last night to mark yet another mundane and repetitive occasion.

The air quality in Mumbai is already poor due to the ongoing construction work in the city, and despite being well aware of this fact, people went ahead and burst crackers all through the night. It’s quite disappointing to see such behavior from so-called civilized members of our society.

The world is at risk of collapsing due to its own irony. People are so focused on their pleasure that they lack empathy for others. Our culture has become so obsessed with pursuing desires that it cannot function without them. Everything is slowly falling apart, yet nothing is left to destroy.

Fortunately, all I am finding around here are the remains of crackers, and I am aware of my privilege here.

As we enter a new year, it’s hard not to feel a sense of apathy and indifference towards the future. The changing of the year is just another arbitrary marker of time, and it’s unlikely that anything significant will change as a result. We are all just carrying the weight of our past experiences and mistakes, and it’s unlikely that we’ll be able to overcome them. The world is a chaotic and unpredictable place, and there’s no guarantee that things will get better.

In order to address this, people all over the world have developed the “Politics of Happiness,” which is centered around finding happiness under any circumstances. After all, although we’re meant to be enthusiastic about experiencing happiness constantly, we all know that there’s much more to life than that. It seems a bit shallow to celebrate happiness as if it’s the ultimate goal in life.

Everything has a price for the sake of being alive. Some people lack water while others are surrounded by illusions. Some people don’t have peace while others have access to high-end fashion. Some haven’t had a proper meal while others indulge in molecular cuisine. Some have the privilege of a roof over their head while others contemplate the echoes of the Big Bang.

This contrasting reality is a source of inspiration for the creative process, even if it is an expression of decay. What if politics has become a form of numbness, drunkenness of words, while genuine wisdom is hidden in billboards? The text reads “Politics of Happiness or Diserotica”.

So, here we are facing the realities of our planet while also exerting our will upon it. In the end, it’s all quite absurd, yet there is beauty to be found.

Still, the world’s soul flickers. Until we cross paths once more as the siblings of the trees, it conceals its solar plexus. It’s not a given that the world feels good just because you do.i

I hope you all have a good year !!

megh/babyyaga/jellyfish.

*FEELINGS ARE PERSONAL*

Writing on- silence of Eve.

Finding our way back to what?” – This question is profound. Today, I am creating a map of words to help us explore the roots of language. Silence is like the soil in which words grow and words are like vehicles for expressing the inexpressible. Let’s focus on the present and delve into the beauty of language.

According to Jordan’s foreign ministry, after 52 days of conflict in the Gaza Strip, Israel is accused of engaging in genocide.

What else is new? Ukraine has forgotten, right? And what’s new in Afghanistan? India? Iran?

Adam was on a mission to make the world a better place, as instructed by the creator. He believed that fighting against evil was the only way to ensure the success of good. But Eve questioned his approach. Is violence really the answer? Does protecting one group require the destruction of another community, gender, or race?

Eve sat alone in her small hut, feeling overwhelmed and defeated. She couldn’t help but think about how difficult life had become for her and her children. It seemed like every day brought new challenges and struggles to overcome. Disease, war, and poverty were constant threats, and it felt like there was no escape. As she gazed out the window, Eve couldn’t help but wonder how she would have survived if she had been born in a different time or place.

She still recalls the garden she once adored but was banished from because she ate an apple. Although she hasn’t found closure, she has come to accept it as the will of the Creator. She was told that questioning the Creator was not allowed, so she obeyed without hesitation.

I didn’t want to be here today,” she says. “One feels disgusted by the expulsion from Eden. I am looking for the secret garden where the mind and body grow, but I don’t know where it is. I am searching for a theory of absence.

This is a story about the impossibility of telling a story. We must listen and forget so that life can go on.

So Eve ignores the cries of her children and goes back to what she does best: sitting and observing in silence.

megh/babyyaga/jellyfish

*FEELINGS ARE PERSONAL*

Image clicked by @meghabr

Writing on- becoming 2023//

Becoming who we aspire to be is not a straightforward process. As we grow up, we are often asked the question, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Some say doctor, some engineer, some pilot, or teacher – the list is endless. Our entire life is focused on achieving this goal. However, the journey of becoming involves multiple phases. At times, we aspire to be something else, and then we navigate through this discovery process. This constant pursuit, the hustle, and the relentless drive to become can be perplexing. We frequently question and doubt ourselves internally, grappling with our identity and potential.

As the year comes to an end, I reflect on the expectations I had for it. While some of my goals were not achieved as planned, I am proud of the progress I was able to make in my own unique way, which ended up being even better than what I had originally anticipated. This year, I experienced several losses and discovered the true colors of people I called friends. It became clear to me how much of my energy and time I had wasted on them.

“All learning is good learning.”

This year, I struggled with claustrophobia. Some days, I felt like everything was going perfectly, and suddenly it wasn’t. It was suffocating. I questioned my actions and couldn’t find clarity. It felt like every step forward was met with an even stronger pull backward. The effort to break free seemed to entangle me further in uncertainty.

As the clock ticked away, I came to the realization that I had nothing to show for my efforts. Everything I had created was being rejected, and I felt defeated. Though I didn’t plan to fight for my survival this year, the difficult circumstances I faced left me with no other choice. I had to stand up for myself and defend my position.

This year has fulfilled its purpose, guiding me through the tempest while ensuring that my vessel stays afloat. It is imperative to maintain my drive and await the moment when I am equipped to embrace success as it arrives. True success cannot be attained overnight; it requires the wisdom to steward it gracefully. This year serves as a poignant reminder that every step taken toward my aspirations is a step toward deserving them. 

Sometimes the bare minimum is enough. You don’t have to be your best self every day. Sometimes it’s okay not to be who you thought you were. Life is for living, not for becoming. 

Uncertainty is the only constant in life, and it is important to adapt to it while taking things easy.

The sun always shines. Don’t worry about the clouds; they come and go.

May you all be well.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

megh/babyaga/jellyfish.

*EMOTIONS ARE PERSONAL*

Writing 0n- insignificance.

You are made of the same activated atoms as the universe, which makes you a part of it. Think about the immense power and potential residing within you as you realize your connection to the universe. As there are millions and billions of universes, you are insignificant and just one speck in the grand scheme of everything.

I frequently experience two different viewpoints that tend to contradict each other. At times, I feel a sense of vastness and interconnectedness, as if I am one with the universe. However, there are also days when I feel more insignificant and small, like a mold on a peach. This peach, being the planet Earth, is just one of the countless planets in our vast and wondrous universe.

In our universe, the presence of one single plant or animal does not hold any significant value. This same concept applies to our own existence, as we are all negligible. There are millions of universes with billions of galaxies and trillions of stars. Sometimes, remembering this vastness can help us put things into perspective.

When I reflect on my past and contemplate all that has happened to me, I realize that even the smallest of actions have led me to where I am today. Despite my seemingly insignificant presence in the universe, I live my life and leave my mark.

My understanding is that when everything is seen from a broader perspective, even the biggest of our achievements or failures appear insignificant. Therefore, what matters is not the size of the mark we leave behind but rather our acknowledgment of the vastness of the universe and our attempt to come to terms with it.

The humbling experience of witnessing the grandeur of nature, be it a mountain or an ocean, has a profound impact on us. It shapes us and inspires us to become who we are in our entirety. Despite the duality of feeling small in comparison to the vastness of nature, we are actually just right as we are supposed to be.

May you all be well and Vast.

megh/jellyfish/babyyaga.

*THOUGHTS ARE PERSONAL*

Image Credit – @meghabr, Clicked at Dali, Darjeeling.